COMMITMENT & SUCCESS: Some facts That Will Make You Feel Better
“If you’re not getting the results you want, it’s because you haven’t invested enough to get those results.” -Benjamin Hardy
Your commitment determines the success in every single area of your life:
- Your quality of relationships
- Your level of career fulfillment
- Your quality of health and wellness
- The numbers in your bank account
- Your entire future
Most people aren’t committed. They are simply “interested.”
In the words of John Assaraf:
“If you’re interested, you come up with stories, excuses, reasons, and circumstances about why you can’t or why you won’t. If you’re committed, those go out the window. You just do whatever it takes.”
Many of you know I struggled with quitting an addiction to pornography for 15 years.
It wasn’t for lack of trying, either. I read every book, prayed every prayer, vowed every vow, installed every “accountability software.” Nothing worked. I was preparing to live the rest of my life with this hidden obsession.
But there were still more solutions I hadn’t tried, things I balked at. Counseling, therapy, 12-step addiction stuff? C’mon. It’s not thatbad.
But it was. And when I met my now-wife Kimi, I knew I had to stop — whatever it took. If I ever wanted a chance at a healthy marriage, I needed to kick the habit, permanently.
So I went to therapy. I wrote the 18 pages (front to back) for my therapist when he asked me to write down every single instance I could remember of feeling “shame.” I went to 90 meetings in 90 days (twice). My therapist told me to drive to a meeting inconveniently located an hour away, just to make sure I was truly invested.
I was committed. Come hell or high water, this behavior would end.
And it did. I haven’t looked at porn in years. I plan to never look at it ever again. My intimacy with my friends and family has never been deeper. I look straight into my friend’s eyes and say “I love you” all the time.
The power of commitment
Most people will remain “interested,” nothing more. They may claim they’ll do whatever it takes, or make grand gestures of behavioral change, but deep down their commitment is shaky and weak.
If you haven’t achieved the type of success you want yet, it’s probably because you haven’t committed enough yet.
“If you want lasting change, you have to give up this idea of just trying something, and you have to commit yourself to mastery. That means not just “dabbling,” but fully immersing yourself. Because your life is not controlled by what you do some of the time, but by what you do consistently.” -Tony Robbins
It Takes More Work to Stay in Mediocrity Than It Takes to Succeed
“It’s actually far more exhausting to not work than it is to work. It takes far more energy to sit with internal conflict than it does to get to work.” -Benjamin Hardy
I’ve been waking up at 5AM recently.
Unlike lots of the personal development “gurus” who have been doing this for years, it’s new for me. I drag myself out of bed to journal, pray, read, and write.
My wife jokes I’m crazy. But honestly, it’s beginning to take less and less work and motivation. I look forward to 5AM the night before, because I know I’m evolving into a better version of myself by practicing diligence and self-discipline.
Some words by David Kadavy come to mind: “When you build a habit, you don’t have to spend mental energy deciding what to do.”
Looking back at my old life — working at an ill-fitting corporate job, a beer belly, and 3 hours of TV after work — it really feels like less work now than it did then.
I was constantly fighting off hating how I looked in the mirror. I woke up every day knowing my job wasn’t right for me. I slept horribly because I was hopped up on caffeine all day and buzzed on alcohol most nights.
“If you keep on living the way you are now, you will continue to produce the same life you already have.” -Jim Rohn
Yesterday, I found I had more energy all day after waking up at 5AM than I usually did when I slept in until 8AM. It’s a fascinating truth about doing extraordinary work — you work more, but you feel more energized.
Most people would be surprised to discover living a more focused, diligent life actually takes less energy than living excessively with the wrong things.
You spend energy every day on surviving anyway — why not spend it moving forward towards great success?
Most people are living lives that are well below their potential, yet spending the same energy (or more!) than it would take on living a truly incredible life.
It takes more work to constantly fight off the negative feelings in mediocrity than it does to work towards great success.
“Most people never see extraordinary opportunities because all they’re looking for is money and security, so that’s all they get.” –Robert Kiyosaki